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Funy articles &stories

إنشاء موضوع جديد  إضافة رد هل صليت على النبى محمد اليوم؟
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قديم 04-15-2011, 11:30 PM
أم قصي أم قصي غير متصل
الانتساب: 22 - 10 - 2008
الإقامة: Gaza
المشاركات: 4,473
معدل تقييم المستوى: 0
أم قصي has a spectacular aura about

إضافتي كصديق ليكون متاح التحدث عبر الدردشة

راسلنا إن كان الموضوع مخالف

شاهد جميع مواضيعي

مراسلة ناشر الموضوع


صفحة جديدة 4

هل صليت على النبى محمد ﷺ اليوم ؟


This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I head towards the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I picked up from the postman earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the recycling box under the table, and notice that the recycling box is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the recycling first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the postbox when I take out the recycling paper anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my chequebook off the table, and notice that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the cup of coffee I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the coffee aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The coffee is getting cold, and I decide to make another cup.
As I head toward the kitchen with the cold coffee, a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye – the flowers need water.
I put the coffee on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I put the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I put the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

; The car isn't washed.
& The bills aren't paid.
& There is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the counter.
&; The flowers don't have enough water.
&; There is still only one cheque in my chequebook.
&; I can't find the remote.
&; I can't find my glasses.
&; And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
&; Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.
&; I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail...
&; Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

If this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

الموضوع الأصلي: Funy articles &stories | الناشر: أم قصي | المصدر: الملتقى التربوي

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قديم 04-15-2011, 11:51 PM
أم قصي أم قصي غير متصل
الانتساب: 22 - 10 - 2008
الإقامة: Gaza
المشاركات: 4,473
معدل تقييم المستوى: 0
أم قصي has a spectacular aura about

Before you fly
The fear of flights is a common syndrome. Frequent fliers may not be paying too much heed to pre-flight announcements and safety demonstrations but heaven knows how many of us our petrified when the smiling flight attendant politely points out how are chances of survival may be increased. And if you have recently read Arthur Hailey's 'Airport' or seen the movie, then it would be better to travel on tracks or on the road.

Though the trend has not caught on in India, in many other places in-flight safety lectures and announcements are sometimes flavoured a little with humour and some amount of well meaning teasing. This often helps to lighten up the situation a bit. Here are a few classic examples of flight-wit; it is for you to decide how effective these are.

§ On a Continental Flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

§ “On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of you belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.”

§ “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”

§ “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

§ “After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as heck everything has shifted.”

§ From a Southwest Airlines employee: “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.”

§ “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”

§ Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”

§ “Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

§ “As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

رد مع اقتباس
قديم 04-17-2011, 12:17 AM
الصورة الرمزية safaaz
safaaz safaaz غير متصل
+ قلم دائم التألق +
الانتساب: 27 - 12 - 2007
الإقامة: Nuseirat
العمر: 21
المشاركات: 539
معدل تقييم المستوى: 9
safaaz has a spectacular aura about

thank u so much
keep on my dear

توقيع :  safaaz

رد مع اقتباس
قديم 04-17-2011, 11:10 PM
الصورة الرمزية الأستاذة سحر
الأستاذة سحر الأستاذة سحر غير متصل
فصبــرٌ جميــل
الانتساب: 14 - 3 - 2009
الإقامة: هناك !!!
المشاركات: 12,376
معدل تقييم المستوى: 20
الأستاذة سحر is a name known to all

lovely thread

thank you shaimaa

my respect

توقيع :  الأستاذة سحر

رد مع اقتباس
قديم 04-17-2011, 11:12 PM
الصورة الرمزية زهرة الصبا
زهرة الصبا زهرة الصبا غير متصل
+ قلم لامع +
الانتساب: 26 - 1 - 2011
الإقامة: وراء ابتسامة وقلب رقيق
المشاركات: 1,408
معدل تقييم المستوى: 7
زهرة الصبا has a spectacular aura about

thank you very much
keep up my dear

with my best wishes
The rose of boyhood

رد مع اقتباس
قديم 04-26-2011, 12:22 PM
أم قصي أم قصي غير متصل
الانتساب: 22 - 10 - 2008
الإقامة: Gaza
المشاركات: 4,473
معدل تقييم المستوى: 0
أم قصي has a spectacular aura about

thanx friends for your comments

You are all welcome

All the best to all of you


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هل صليت على النبى محمد اليوم ؟
اقرأ أيضا ... اللغة الإنجليزية العام

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