Dear ,The dawn
Sister, we never realize that some one was so meaningful for us before we lost her/him. We can't predicted correctly when will our time end, we just fight for the future and live at present. Sometimes, we left our past time behind and didn't care about it anymore. But, some people, they were remain their past time and it took great impact for their life after. whatever in a good or bad condition. The goodness of our memory, it makes us be a better person who thanking and respect our time well. The bad condition, it grows traumatic.
We are ordinary person. it's normal feel guilty in our life. But, we should changed our way of thinking about the case. For me, my past time is my precious thing. I'm able to learn much about this life, it such as introspection. Whatever bad or good, I take the positive side of it. Do you know why? because I believe in Allah and He is always in my heart, He never let me go astray